I started this blog roughly five years ago, but quickly abandoned it for a reason that was, in retrospect, pretty stupid and immature. Now that I've had five years to process and departmentalize those feelings, I guess I'm ready to give it another go.

So how do you recap five years....
Well, here it goes: I changed jobs, we had another son, Daniel changed jobs, started going to a new church, didn't sleep for 2 years, one kiddo started kindergarten, the other is now potty training!!  Loving the present...missing the past...

Like many working moms, I struggle with time management, guilt, isolation, stress, depression...

But cherish the noise, the piles of laundry, the little feet running through my house, involuntarily watching the sun rise every morning....

I've had some people that I love come back into my life and lost others. One in particular that I think about almost daily....I'll never get over losing Dale..too soon was an understatement.

I've discovered I have a passion and heart for adoption. I don't know if my husband and I will ever travel that road, but I'll support anyone that does. Every child should know the love of a family, especially the forgotten little ones...the ones discarded by a society that thinks their lives have no worth. It breaks my heart that any child should live this way...

http://www.newhorizonsforchildren.org/

http://reecesrainbow.org/

My little boy both have severe peanut allergies, so that's been a fun road to walk. It's unreal how dangerous this allergy is and how uneducated the world is about food allergies. Don't get me wrong, I'm not the type of person that thinks everyone should change their behaviors for their child. But I do think that everyone should have a base knowledge of food allergies and never give a parent a hard time for trying to advocate for the safety of their child. A true food allergy is more than just a case of the sniffles. It often times can be life threatening and no two reactions are the same.

My goals for the future now that I'm emerging from the cocoon of toddlerhood?
Well, there is the basics..

• Make good food choices for myself and my family
• Write more (it's always been cathartic for me.. I've started writing short stories again, but will likely never share them...too personal I guess..)
• Teach my boys to be good men in a society that is constantly challenging  them to be selfish and entitled....and function with no moral compass....
• find my spiritually
• get back in the gym and finally accomplish my goal of an unassisted pull up ( I was so close when I quit crossfit...ugh)
• Catch up on all the books I've not read that are piling up beside my bed...

The fun...

• travel and enjoy the fun things of this world...and locally...
• learn to sew..who knew I'd ever want to be domestic!
• reconnect with friends that have unintentionally slipped for my everyday life...

The crazy...

• learn now to not feel guilty when I take time for myself. I was recently told by a very important person from my childhood to take up running. She swore it would give me the peace, clam and serenity I was seeking...plus its hard for sometime to interrupt your "my" time when you are a moving target!
• start an eCommerce business of my own one day?? I'd love to do something involving food allergies (advocating/informing....providing a resource for parents who struggle with what to feed their children in a world full of GMOs)

So, we'll see where the next five years takes me and where I'll end up...as I often say..

I've living the dream....